"Though You Slay Me"
They just come seemingly out of nowhere at times, the tears. Yesterday it was during my son's recap of his counseling time with our pastor. I was struck, yet again, with the severity of his suffering moment by moment. Today it was when my youngest son played that song "Nobody's Home" by Pink Floyd on his Ipod (actually, both of us cried). We recounted the weighty loss of future employment, driver's license for my son, his brother...we drew the line here and went no further in counting...
On the outside my son appears to have minimal distressing symptoms that may make it seem silly that we are afflicted at times with such sadness. He's not in a wheelchair, he can hold a conversation, he laughs, he is affectionate. But his trial is anything but distress free. It's constant. It's real. And it's brutal.
Why am I writing these things that I've already shared before? Because just as it is a reminder to me of the reality we live in, this fallen world reality...just as real and even more fantastic is the truth that this is all temporary. And what if my son didn't even know God at all? What if I didn't know God? What would I do without Him? I would have no hope because my hope would be in this place. Praise God for this!
And not only that, God is producing...preparing something that far outweighs all of the sufferings here. That precious weight of glory. I don't even know what that fully means, but I know if God is producing it and I can't even compare these sufferings...then it's going to be good. Real. Good.
On the outside my son appears to have minimal distressing symptoms that may make it seem silly that we are afflicted at times with such sadness. He's not in a wheelchair, he can hold a conversation, he laughs, he is affectionate. But his trial is anything but distress free. It's constant. It's real. And it's brutal.
Why am I writing these things that I've already shared before? Because just as it is a reminder to me of the reality we live in, this fallen world reality...just as real and even more fantastic is the truth that this is all temporary. And what if my son didn't even know God at all? What if I didn't know God? What would I do without Him? I would have no hope because my hope would be in this place. Praise God for this!
And not only that, God is producing...preparing something that far outweighs all of the sufferings here. That precious weight of glory. I don't even know what that fully means, but I know if God is producing it and I can't even compare these sufferings...then it's going to be good. Real. Good.
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