Discovery Part 1
Every story is different. I'll begin there, because it's true.
Since the last 7 years are a literal blur to my husband and I, I'm tempted to keep it all there in that fuzzy haze of forgetfulness. Yet somehow I think it's time to write. To remember. Maybe it will help someone else, or perhaps it will simply help me as I retrace.
There are no easy descriptions or clear symptoms pertaining to a serious mental illness. It's a process of discovery and there aren't enough diagrams in the world to contain the myriad of markers. So I'll share a few things we've learned. Our different story.
I've written about my son's episode with H.S.Purpura before. How I thought, and still suspect, that there is a connection to possible encephalopathy, brain damage. Maybe it's autoimmune? We may never know.
From that time he grows. In hindsight I can see things now. Every new adventure we embark on, to a public pool, on a homeschool field trip, S. acts out terribly. He doesn't adapt well to a new situation. I don't realize at the time how unusual this is. He grows more. He rebels, but not your normal every day rebellion. It's extreme. And perplexing.
14 now, we move to a new city. He is near crisis. Through a trusted Christian resource, we find a crisis placement in a Christian ranch in Montana. My husband and I secretly pack his suitcase and I buy my son clothes for the rugged outdoors.
I remember feeling completely dumbfounded, numb. I cried. Alot. There was no friend that I could go to for a roadmap for this trial, no guidebook. All of my homeschool mom friends' kids were doing great, celebrating graduations, engagements, academic feats. And I was going shopping for my son's camping gear to send him off to complete strangers in the mountains of Montana. I was devastated and brave all at the same time. A mysterious mix of God's supernatural grace.
In a beautiful act of God's mercy, He reached out to me in the most unexpected place ~ a shoe store. I went to a specialty sporting goods store to purchase "river shoes". One of the needed items on the supply list given to parents before we brought our son to Montana. As I was picking out shoes a sales clerk came over to me. He started inquiring as to why I was buying these particular kind of shoes. I replied something like, "oh, they're for my son." He persisted in his questions, "what for?", "where is he going to use them?". I thought to myself, what the heck, I don't know this guy, I'll tell him..."they're for Montana...we're sending our son to a ranch because he needs help".
To my surprise, a smile fell across his face and he replied, "oh, I went to a boys ranch in Montana when I was a teenager. My parents sent me because I was in trouble", he continued to my amazement..."I am so grateful they did it, it was the best thing they could have done for me."
to be continued...
Since the last 7 years are a literal blur to my husband and I, I'm tempted to keep it all there in that fuzzy haze of forgetfulness. Yet somehow I think it's time to write. To remember. Maybe it will help someone else, or perhaps it will simply help me as I retrace.
There are no easy descriptions or clear symptoms pertaining to a serious mental illness. It's a process of discovery and there aren't enough diagrams in the world to contain the myriad of markers. So I'll share a few things we've learned. Our different story.
I've written about my son's episode with H.S.Purpura before. How I thought, and still suspect, that there is a connection to possible encephalopathy, brain damage. Maybe it's autoimmune? We may never know.
From that time he grows. In hindsight I can see things now. Every new adventure we embark on, to a public pool, on a homeschool field trip, S. acts out terribly. He doesn't adapt well to a new situation. I don't realize at the time how unusual this is. He grows more. He rebels, but not your normal every day rebellion. It's extreme. And perplexing.
14 now, we move to a new city. He is near crisis. Through a trusted Christian resource, we find a crisis placement in a Christian ranch in Montana. My husband and I secretly pack his suitcase and I buy my son clothes for the rugged outdoors.
I remember feeling completely dumbfounded, numb. I cried. Alot. There was no friend that I could go to for a roadmap for this trial, no guidebook. All of my homeschool mom friends' kids were doing great, celebrating graduations, engagements, academic feats. And I was going shopping for my son's camping gear to send him off to complete strangers in the mountains of Montana. I was devastated and brave all at the same time. A mysterious mix of God's supernatural grace.
In a beautiful act of God's mercy, He reached out to me in the most unexpected place ~ a shoe store. I went to a specialty sporting goods store to purchase "river shoes". One of the needed items on the supply list given to parents before we brought our son to Montana. As I was picking out shoes a sales clerk came over to me. He started inquiring as to why I was buying these particular kind of shoes. I replied something like, "oh, they're for my son." He persisted in his questions, "what for?", "where is he going to use them?". I thought to myself, what the heck, I don't know this guy, I'll tell him..."they're for Montana...we're sending our son to a ranch because he needs help".
To my surprise, a smile fell across his face and he replied, "oh, I went to a boys ranch in Montana when I was a teenager. My parents sent me because I was in trouble", he continued to my amazement..."I am so grateful they did it, it was the best thing they could have done for me."
to be continued...
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