Loving S.

O.K., so it's not hard for me to write about loving my son. It's a done deal. I love all of my sons.

But S. requires a disproportionate amount of our attention. He is very disabled due to his menacing illness, schizoaffective disorder. He has all of the symptoms of bipolar and schizophrenia...can you imagine that? I mean, really, he is my hero. Add to that, that his brain has trouble recognizing that he is ill. He has to rely on the people and resources in his life to assess his treatment needs. I don't know about you, but I would have been tempted to bow out of this deal a long time ago.

I am not giving up hope that one day his mind will be well. But in the mean time, I marvel at a powerful, loving God who sustains my son and provides for him at every turn. Though the future is clouded with thick fog ahead, and we stand on constant sinking sand, our God is the constant rock in the midst of an ever progressing disease and horrifically broken mental health system.

Loving my son through this journey has also opened my heart to love those who are suffering along side of him. Those whose story's have far more tragic outcomes. Due to an ever increasing system of care that pushes the sickest among us to the back of the line...I have to keep writing. And fighting. I'm not writing to draw attention to myself. I'm writing to shine light on this hidden injustice.

So bear with me...more to come...